This song was written as a companion to this chapter, not to inspire you, but to sit with you.
You don’t need to focus on the words.
Let it play while you breathe, scroll, or simply pause.
You can come back to this song anytime.
We’d all be confident, rich, regulated, well-hydrated, and dating emotionally available men who go to therapy without being asked.
But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:
Affirmations are cute.
But they don’t work for most women.
At least not for women who’ve been through real shit.
They work great for people who already have high self-esteem.
They work great for people who already trust themselves.
They work great for people whose nervous systems aren’t fried like an overworked iPhone battery stuck on 3%.
For the rest of us?
Affirmations can feel like gaslighting.
The first time I ever tried affirmations, I whispered into the mirror:
I am worthy.
I am radiant.
I am wildly confident.
And my inner voice immediately replied:
“Girl… you are exhausted. And dehydrated. Please be serious.”
And I know I’m not alone.
Because here’s the part no one tells you:
Affirmations often backfire.
When you repeat something you don’t believe, your brain doesn’t say,
“Yay! New belief unlocked!”
It says,
“Absolutely not. That’s a lie.”
Your subconscious isn’t rude, it’s consistent.
It’s trying to protect you from disappointment, delusion, or danger.
So when you tell yourself:
“I am beautiful” — and you don’t feel beautiful
“I am wealthy” — and your bank account is screaming
“I am confident” — while you’re spiraling
your brain rejects it.
This isn’t negativity.
This is pattern protection.
Your brain is a little accountant.
It keeps receipts.
And it does not accept new beliefs without evidence.
If you’ve survived:
chaotic childhoods
financial instability
abandonment
emotionally dysregulated or narcissistic caregivers
toxic relationships
raising kids with zero support
chronic survival mode
religious trauma
trauma you didn’t even have language for at the time
…your brain is not going to swallow a pretty sentence like a vitamin gummy.
It’s going to fight you.
And that fight is exhausting.
It’s why affirmations often make women feel worse — not better.